March 2, 2007
Earthquake - Solved!
Earlier this evening, there was an earthquake (a cuddly little 4.2). Blogs sprang up with news of the quake just minutes after it happened. The usgs site had the facts a little later. Thing is.. none of these people know the real story.
Janeway: You just volunteered to become a field medic. Report to sick bay as soon as we’re finished here.
Paris: But captain. (WOAH SHAKY FACES)
Janeway: Stations everyone! Report.
Some chick: We’re running into some kind of spacial distortion.
Janeway: Mr Tuvoc.
Tuvoc: The distortions are emanating from a highly localized disturbance in the space-time continuum. Distance, 20,000 kilometers off the port bow.
Janeway: All stop. On screen. Gravimetric flux density is over 2000 percent. If i’m not mistaken, we’re looking at a type 4 quantum singularity.
So you know the part where I said “WOAH SHAKY FACES”? Yeah, you know those shaky faces they do on Star Trek (and simultaneously fall all over the place, nevermind the presence of earth-like gravity and the absence of seatbelts)… Anyway, that instant, like exact moment, was the start of the earthquake (the real-life one, not the shaky-face one on tv). The only logical explanation is quantum entanglement. Particles beneath the earth were affected the same moment the quantum singularity caused a spacial distortion a bunch of years in the future (which is Star Trek). Thanks to that one chick in Star Trek, and my clever inductive reasoning, I have successfully proven that the earthquake was a result of a spacial distortion caused by a quantum singularity. Nothing to worry about.
Update: That one chick is called Seska.
