January 11, 2007
ORD to LAX to SFO
“Enjoy your flight to Los Angeles!” Such friendliness is never expected given so many horror stories of security screening personnel and their strict requirements for entry.
Thou shalt restrict all containers of liquids to those which singularly hold no more than 3 ounces and together, within their respective containers, comprise no more than the volume of one quart-sized clear plastic ziplock bag. Your skin may be dry, but terrorists can make bombs out of your 20oz bottle of lotion so you’ll have to give it up for the greater good.
I saw a bottle of Bacardi discarded under the x-ray scanner. The cure for fear is removing that which cures fear for the fear that it might be something else. How does the old adage go? Alcohol is the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. Given that, I hope someone gets to enjoy that bottle. Even if it didn’t solve any problems for the person that bought it, who’s now on the plane, and down $30. So much for bringing a security blanket.
Through the security checkpoint and on to the G/H wing I’ve come to know so well. A new wall-sized touch-screen interface greets me as G splits to the left and H to the right. A man stands close to it, as if he weren’t sure whether it was serious about the message “Touch me for weather.” Many people go their whole lives without encountering such a request. Mine was H-8 so I continued to the right and past an ATM. I should get money, I thought. Only by then I was halfway to my gate. I knew I had 2 dollars in my pocket so I veered to the Starbucks on the left side of the hall. Only 4 people in line? At a Starbucks? I can’t resist. I waited it out and got a “Tall” coffee, which, opposed to the tallest size, Venti, is actually a word, though not one I would use to describe the smallest of coffees. Oh well, people manage to adapt to their surroundings. And Starbucks manages to surround people very well. After that, I got hungry. Starbucks made me hungry.. but $2 meant I could only afford 1 of the cheapest thing on the menu. I left with my coffee, now empty of money (a 25 cent tip for a coffee isn’t too much, is it?) and decided to head back to the ATM to fill up my pockets. Then I headed to the food court, with a photo album of my three uncle Jacksons (they’re triplets). I noticed the regular food offerings, and the regular crowd in front of the McDonalds stand. The pizza joint was barren. By the time I got to the other side I had resolved to walk back to the Starbucks and get a muffin. What’s this? Lo and behold, directly in front of me was another Starbucks. Apparantely someone else had the same idea. This Starbucks was twice the size of the previous one, with a line on either side. And both lines had twice as many customers. Must be a better location. Are the two establishments competing? Is it appropriate to tell these customers about the other Starbucks just around the corner? I decided against it and got a blueberry muffin. I didn’t feel bad about spilling crumbs on the floor outside my gate.
