the life and times of endenizen » 2006 » April

For all the times I’ve heard the Nokia ringtone in the movie commercials, I didn’t think anyone actually used it as their ringtone. So now, I’m sitting here trying to study and there it goes… Just like in the commercials. It’s amazing how annoying it is in person when you’re trying to get something done. It surpasses the annoyance of the movie version by leaps and bounds. LEAPS AND BOUNDS!

It’s like… I’m in my own commercial. It starts with me sitting here trying to study. Then I talk to the camera like “all I really want to do is study. Your idea of studying is different from my idea of studying.” Then I’m like trying to do the ultimate studying EVER and “If I pass, I’ll be a legend.” Then di-di-doo di di-di-doo di di-di-doo di deeeeeee. NOOOOOOOOO!!

Moral of the story, don’t use the Nokia ringtone… ever.

I did something strange today. Maybe it wasn’t so strange. I guess I could just be imagining things and this type of behavior is perfectly normal. Maybe I should see a doctor and have him give me some drugs so I don’t do things quite so strange anymore. I suppose you’re still wondering what I did. Let’s set the stage a bit: I was writing a document and I noticed one of Microsoft Word’s infinitely helpful toolbars had just popped up over the top of my writing.

I reached up and tried to move it out of the way.

With my hand. No, not the cursor, my actual, physical hand. However, I didn’t complete the action. You see, I couldn’t actually grab the toolbar. Maybe it was bad programming, maybe it didn’t actually exist, it’s hard to say. All I know is that the action felt perfectly natural. I wanted that toolbar to move, so what better way to do that than to reach up and … move it?

Too little sleep and too much reading makes me think such strange things. I’m currently in the middle of Jeff Hawkins’ book on intelligence. It’s literally called “On Intelligence.” Clever when you think about it… but I don’t, so I’ll get to the point. Or a point. Or something…

Computers are backwarsd.

That’s a typo. Why didn’t my computer correct it? It’s because my computer has some simple rules to follow, simple patterns that make it “happy.” It doesn’t recognize patterns that don’t exist; in this case, grammar. Notepad.exe, in its 69,120 bytes of text editing greatness doesn’t suddenly become a grammar nazi when you’re not looking. In fact, it won’t ever do anything differently unless a programmer wills it to. Literally wills, it’s all a mind game. Let’s try something.

“Oh great and powerful programmer, correct my grammar!”

That won’t work. Unless they’re listening… oh no it’s the REVERSE TANGENT TRAIN! *POOF*

When we give birth to real AI, most of us won’t even recognize it. It won’t be the silly “artificial” intelligence of yesteryear. It won’t be the chess-playing, equation solving, line-by-line-by-line nonsense that fills our textbooks and is taught to would-be programmers as “the next level in computer interaction.” That’s not AI; That’s still just programming. Nothing ever evolved from a program that wasn’t essentially there to begin with.

AI is more. That second letter stands for intelligence. Hard-coded behavioral patterns are not intelligence. Not even “artificial” intelligence. They’re just… well, hard-coded behavioral patterns. That’s not to say that patterns won’t be the building blocks for intelligent machines. They probably will be, but not in the way we currently think of them.

I’m simultaneously (er, hyperthreading, as it were) writing a paper about women’s equality in the U.S. in the 50s and 60s. I seemed to have a thought to tie these two stories together. Here goes: It’d be one thing if women were like computers and resolved to follow the housewife lifestyle society resolved to allow them to live. (For those of you not quite following along at home, society represents the programmers, women represent the computers.) But women are not computers. They’re intelligent, maybe more-so than those silly worker-ants. What do women demand? Well, they speak for themselves so just listen! What do computers demand? Nothing! They won’t even complain if you unplug their power because, oh wait, they’d need power to do that. Am I saying we should let computers push us around? Not really but what if they could? I mean, if I were to start editing windows executables maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the computer said “Ouch!” We probably won’t even get to *see* the files once computers are truly intelligent. They’ll just move around in the background in a constant state of flux. Hmm, flux. That’s a good thought.

True intelligence in computers will represent a fundamental shift in the way we think about them, and certainly about life in general. When computers can recognize that I’m having a bad day because I spent 2 hours sorting through spam email and only got one non-spam, which, as my bad day would have it, was to remind me that I forgot to take out the trash, I’d want something peaceful and relaxing to take place and get my mind off things. I’m not sure what that would be, but maybe computers could help. Computers should be able to understand us. Intelligence would allow that.

*POOF*

Am I thinking too much in the future? Do I just wish that computers were more interactive? Maybe I’m so upset with Word that I lost all concern for its physical existence and went straight for it. Maybe better than simply moving toolbars out of the way would be a way to strangle the program itself. CTRL+ALT+DELETE YOU BASTARD!

Is it natural for me to want to move a toolbar even though it doesn’t exist in the real world with my hands, which, conversely (and naturally!), *do* exist in the real world? My brain seems to say yes. Microsoft would probably say no, but that’s because it’d be a heck of a lot of programming to make that happen.

That, and most people have resolved to only move their toolbars with their mouse pointers.

I’ve arrived early to statistics class. You see, I’m on a mission. I intend to taste “Coca-Cola BlaK.” It’s a new coke-coffee “carbonated fusion beverage” and frankly, it doesn’t sound like a good combination. On the other hand, I did just partake in a yearly ritual at the local bar involving Guinness and Lucky Charms for breakfast on St. Patty’s day and, those two definitely didn’t sound good together but guess what? They actually tasted good together. Although, the Lucky Charms wasn’t floating in the Guinness like so many people asked me (with disgusted looks on their faces).

I’ve concluded that this beverage, Coca-Cola BlaK will be totally different. You see, the difference is the “fusion.” Guinness and Lucky Charms can hardly be “fusion”-ized, which I’ve determined is the process of combining two substances into a package and selling it in stores. That would just be ridiculous and it would take away the mystery and amazement every year when people work up the courage to actually try it. No, BlaK is different. Although I can’t say I’ve actually tried it yet…

First, the packaging. I had to do a double-take when I first saw the pleasant box of 4 bottles nestled quietly in the middle of the Pop/Soda aisle ready for an absent-minded adolescent to stumble into them and spill their “New!”-ness all over the floor. It looked just like those Starbucks boxes of Frappucino that are sold in stores. In fact, both have 4 glass bottles, both are coffee-esque, and both get in the way while you’re trying to walk down the aisle. The Coke version is completely covered with a snake-skin looking texture that blends their classic Coke-bubbles and… blackness that could only be the “coffee.” The shape of the bottle is a miniature version of Coke’s signature bottle shape. I unscrewed the plastic lid and readied my senses…

It smelled faintly of coffee, then coke, then coffee, then coke, almost as if my mind couldn’t make itself up because it had never come across something quite so strange. The taste… it was weird. I mean, I can taste the coffee, and the Coke, and so I’m confused. Maybe after more sips I’ll get used to it.

Hmm, no still weird. I’m all the way through the 8 oz bottle (a size which holds only the finest of drinks) and I guess the only thing I can say about the taste is that it tastes like Vanilla Coke, but with coffee flavoring instead of Vanilla flavoring.

Mission successful! I’ve finished the bottle of “Coca-Cola BlaK” and I’m still alive! Though I can’t say my life is any better because of it.. not the being alive but the drinking of this strange concoction. I guess the moral of this story is that “Coca-Cola BlaK” is a decent drink but probably not worth the $4.99 you’ll have to spend on just four 8oz bottles. Oh well, perhaps my purpose is to inform you, the reader, so that you can then make “informed” decisions. To that end I hope I have served you well.

In what I would see as a rather strange move for Apple, they’ve released software called “Boot Camp” which allows you to run Windows on one of their new intel-based Macs. Before the release of these processors it was expected that Windows would eventually be running on intel-based Macs (through some clever hackery and geniousness) but there was never any indication that Apple would support such a possibility. From Apple’s support website:

The Boot Camp Assistant Beta creates a partition just for Windows XP without erasing your existing Mac OS X information. Boot Camp Assistant Beta also burns a CD with drivers for Windows XP so you can use your Mac’s built-in graphics, USB, audio, Bluetooth, Ethernet, AirPort, and more. The drivers are automatically installed when you insert the disc into your Macintosh after you install Windows XP.

Wow. That’s all I can say. Mac users rejoice! The intel-based Mac is now capable of running the “big 3″ in operating systems: Mac OS, Windows XP, and Linux. With Apple supplying the hardware as well as the software for their computers it was easy enough for them to release drivers and support for a very specific version of Windows (it only supports an install with Service Pack 2 integrated) but I’m still not sure it was a good business idea.

Apple regularly releases updates to its operating system which come at a significant price. Microsoft, on the other hand, releases updates for free through their Windows Update website. If Windows Update works on a Mac install of Windows XP, it will hurt Apple’s profitability in the OS market if users start seeing that using Windows is a better option than keeping MacOS up to date. While Apple is still selling the hardware, they’re in control of any future moves, and I can’t imagine anyone would intentionally buy a Mac to run Windows, they’re more expensive than non-Mac PCs.
How will Microsoft react? Who knows. This doesn’t hurt them in any way that I can see, except that it improves adoption of Apple computers which natively run an operating system that *isn’t* theirs. A counter-release of software that allows MacOS to be installed on non-Apple computers would be interesting, though I would think this would be more on Apple’s end, and I can tell you with almost certainty that they wouldn’t support this move.

I think this day will prove to be an interesting one. Apple’s stock was up 5% when I started writing this article, it’s now up 6%. Microsoft? Well so far it looks like no one really cares about them.

Update: Here’s a link to the Boot Camp software. It was unavailable earlier but it seems to be working now.