May 13, 2004
Recipe for a Brian
Ingredients:
1 Minute Maid Watch (broken)
1 Orange Watch (broken)
1 Black and green wallet with “Brian” written on it
1 Strawberry “LipSmackers” lip gloss
50 basketball cards that i probably never even looked at
1 box of “Super Glow-in-the-Dark Crayons
1 small rock, painted red, with blue stripes
1 bag of glitter (unopened)
1 pair of kid’s binoculars (they suck)
100 “Brian Ferrell” pencils (they suck too)
1 sticky glowing spider
1 wax train (one of those things you get at the zoo)
10 temporary tattoos from blue man group and doc martens
2 yoyo’s
1 Qzar Laser Tag membership id (expired 6/8/98)
2 fake rolled up $100 bills (probably used for snorting fake cocaine)
1 set of jacks (you know with the ball and the little metal things) (never played)
1 spacecamp returning trainee medal (circa 1995)
1 crayola crayon sharpener
2 pairs of 3d glasses
1 more watch (mickey mouse this time)
1 5 franc coin (you know, the money they use in france?)
1 color changing silly putty
1 broken mini-stapler
1 tiny chocolate candy egg
1 movie ticket from back when the price was $4.50
4 savings account deposit slips from 1996
1 hotel room key
1 piece of grind wax (for skating)
2 rubber band balls
Directions:
Mix ingredients in no particular in any random drawers. Let sit 9 years, or until golden brown.
Note:
If anyone would like to acquire any of the aforementioned “ingredients”, they’ll be in my front yard bright and early Monday morning at 8am, waiting for the garbage truck to take them away.
